"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize