he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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