Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Randomize
