if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
