And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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