Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
