He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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