I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
