considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
