I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
