I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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