Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
