Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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