only if we run a train.
done.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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