I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Sober January is a disaster.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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