I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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