wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
