Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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