It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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