he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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