Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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