I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
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No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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