No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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