anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize