Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize