In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
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When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
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I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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