Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...