I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
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She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
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Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah