He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.