I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.