literally had 100 drinks last night.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
They are going to name an STD after you.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
