He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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