i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
