I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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