She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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