I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
