So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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