would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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