Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
