I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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