Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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