Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
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