he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
