I swear she didn't look like that last week.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
