We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
