that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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