Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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