i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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