We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
