i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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