did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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