new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
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