your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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