i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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