So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
