how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
