it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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