3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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