can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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